Healthy Thinking Defined

I often get asked to help people develop skills that will help them manage the worst of their feelings or to learn to cope with recurrent feelings. With experience, I think this approach can be helpful, but to me it does not seem adequate toward having what I would describe as a holistically healthy life. Coping skills are part of our strategy to get through a variety of circumstances and could be compared to a vehicle that will help us cross through difficult territory. So, what else is missing?

The destination.

I find that sometimes even people who are quite good at “coping” with events in life get a bit lost or stuck, even when they are quite good at getting through circumstances. They may even feel defeated, when my observations are consistent that clients are quite good despite their discouragement. They lose hope, because they face ever-changing and demanding circumstances. They need some way of evaluating their relative success or failure that cannot and will not be validated by the emotions or the outcome where it involves other people. I have found that defining what is “healthy thinking” has been very helpful, and that people who understand this are less likely to express feelings of overwhelm and/or helplessness than those who do not.

So what is healthy thinking? Thinking is a process, meaning it is the “how” and “why”, versus the “what”. To identify the nature of healthy thoughts I tend to use the acronym, “A.T.T.I.C.”

As you review the list of each of the required components of a healthy thought, consider that one of these criteria cannot be excluded where a thought would continue to be considered “healthy.” There is no trade off. All of the boxes must be checked for a thought to be considered optimally “healthy.”

ADAPTIVE- healthy thinking is adaptive or flexible.

TRANSPARENT- healthy thinking is open, discernable, and discussable. It should be “open to discussion” and clear enough to be identified as something, not just “a thing.” A healthy thought is something that can be discussed both in agreement and disagreement with others who follow basic rules of loving communication.

TRUE- healthy thinking is honest and righteous. It also conforms with reality in some objective sense. Nothing works without truth. Sadly for some people, this truth concept is not as individualized as some would like, and it is also not always consistent with our immediate gut reaction, selfish inclinations or feelings.

INTEREST- Healthy thinking involves some level of interest or intentionality, meaning it is a deliberate act, not just instinctual, and that there is some motivational investment in spending time with it.

CONSISTENT- or COHERENT- As a counterbalance to the adaptive nature of healthy thinking, one thing that sets it apart from chaotic thinking is that flexibility is not without limits. It conforms to patterns, steeped and principles. Through that conformity, healthy thinking is oriented toward organization and order as we provide some sense of our world. At the same time, coherent thinking is not always completely conforming to the standards of others.

So what are some other indications that my thinking is healthy?

1. Having little or no anxiety about what others think or the consequences of your thoughts.

2. Openness to discussing your thoughts with others, regardless of their attitudes or opinions.

3. Openness and consideration to changing your own thoughts or assumptions if appropriate, but only after consideration of the facts (not just feelings).

4. My thoughts are consistent with truth and righteousness.

5. My thoughts, where concerning, are not the biproduct of fear, anger, and they come from a place of loving inter-connectedness with others, versus bravado, callousness, or antagonism.

6. I have the ability to interact with my own thoughts with some level of usable energy and interest.

7. My thoughts can be explained to others.

8. My thoughts, while possibly conceived as emotions, are not concluded because of my feelings. There is a factual basis for them.

Enjoy these thoughts on thoughts, and I hope they help you as they have helped others!

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About the author: Brock Caffee has practiced Marriage and Family Therapy for 20 years. He is in private practice is in Lawrence, KS. He has experience as a lecturer, clinical supervisor and manager. Life experiences include opportunities for insight into the world of parenting, divorce, step-parenting, and addiction recovery.